What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Are there any guys, crossdressers, or transgender girls here who wear tampons?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Have you ever regretted not hitting on a older women?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Warner Bros. Discovery Reworks CEO Pay, Reducing David Zaslav’s Massive Compensation - The Hollywood Reporter

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What was the worst spanking you ever got? Why did you get it, and how was it given to you?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Has anyone ever worn leather pants? Are they comfortable?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What is the sluttiest thing your wife has ever done?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why are so many US conservatives in this day and age still against racial mixing? They won't say it in public, but they are still against the mixing between Blacks and whites? Why?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why would the state lie about the Earth's shape? We know that it's flat, but why do they lie and tell us that it is a sphere?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.